12/10/2025

It’s a common challenge faced by caring family members of older adults living with dementia: how to support them in the journey of dementia care without unintentionally undermining their dignity, self-worth, or sense of purpose. All too often, caregivers simplify language, make decisions on behalf of their parent, or substitute childlike activities — while well-intended, these actions can erode dignity in dementia care and the person’s sense of being a valued adult. 

At The Forum, our memory care philosophy is grounded in recognizing that dignity and respect in dementia care is about much more than keeping someone safe. It’s about helping them maintain independence, feel seen and capable, and remain meaningfully engaged in life.  

Below we highlight how you can help a parent living with dementia thrive.

1. Recognize the Person, Not Just the Condition

Even as dementia progresses, your parent retains identity, preferences, values and a lifetime of experiences.  

What to do: 

• Use adult language: speak as you would with a mature adult, not with baby talk or overly simplified phrases. 

• Reference their past accomplishments and preferences: “Mom, you are such a skilled gardener. Can you help me plan out my vegetable garden in the spring?” 

• Ask for their opinion: “Would you prefer the blue blouse or the green sweater today?” 

What not to do: 

• Don’t assume they can’t understand or contribute just because they have dementia. 

• Avoid patronizing nicknames or talking above their level of comprehension. 

• Don’t replace meaningful adult choices with children’s style activities (for example: coloring childish pictures instead of an adult‐appropriate hobby).

 

2. Encourage Autonomy Through Everyday Choices

One of the strongest ways to preserve dignity and self-worth is to help your parent make decisions — even simple ones — and participate actively in daily life. 

What to do: 

• Offer two meaningful choices rather than one: “Would you like oatmeal or scrambled eggs for breakfast?” 

• Involve them in tasks they can still do: folding napkins, watering plants, setting up a snack tray. 

• Make the environment supportive: lay out clothes so that they can pick what they like and dress with minimal assistance. 

What not to do: 

• Don’t eliminate all decision‐making under the guise of help; removing choices communicates “you can’t do this anymore.” 

• Avoid doing everything for them “just to save time” — this robs them of opportunities to act and feel capable. 

• Don’t overwhelm with too many options or very complex decisions. The aim is enabling, not confusing. 

 

3. Focus on Abilities, Not Limitations

Shifting the focus from what’s lost to what remains possible helps build self-esteem and meaningful engagement. Positive reinforcement matters. 

What to do: 

• Identify tasks they still manage: e.g., getting all of the ingredients together for a recipe, taking the perfect photo with an analog camera, working on a woodworking project, perfecting their golf swing, picking the right fabrics for a quilt, etc.. 

• Adapt the tasks: maybe simplify a recipe or shorten the activity, but keep the adult context and purpose. 

What not to do: 

• Don’t constantly correct minor mistakes or take over because it’s faster—this can send the message “you’re no longer capable.” 

• Avoid replacing adult tasks with play activities designed for children (e.g., toys instead of adult crafts or reminiscing). 

• Don’t treat effort as less valuable because the outcome isn’t perfect. 

 

4. Provide Meaningful Engagement

Dignity and respect in dementia care includes offering opportunities for connection, creativity and contribution — activities that align with the person’s past life and adult identity. 

What to do: 

• Choose adult‐appropriate hobbies: gardening, art, woodworking, golf, scrapbooking, photography, music from their era, conversation about meaningful topics. 

• Use “life stations” or sensory spaces that tap into what made them feel purposeful (e.g., former teacher recounting a lesson, chef preparing a dish). 

• Encourage social roles: ask them to assist, revisit a part of a former role (e.g., giving small advice, helping with a light task). 

What not to do: 

• Don’t default to child-oriented pastimes simply because they seem easy.  

• Avoid activities with no connection to the person’s life or sense of self (e.g., generic games that don’t resonate). 

• Don’t isolate the person by assuming “they can’t participate anymore” — include them, even if their role is small. 

 

5. Support Without Taking Over

It’s a balancing act: providing help and safety while preserving independence and dignity. Your goal is to scaffold their engagement, not to replace it. 

What to do: 

• Use prompts and cues instead of doing the task for them. For example: “Here are the bills, John — let’s look together and you tell me which ones should go out today.” 

• Offer joint activity: “Would you like to lay out the napkins while I get the plates?” 

• Respect pace: allow more time, avoid rushing, adjust expectations to the moment. 

What not to do: 

• Don’t swoop in immediately at the first sign of hesitation — allow them space to try. 

• Avoid completing sentences, tasks, or solving problems for them automatically. 

• Don’t assume they must sit out because you think it’s simpler — involvement fosters dignity. 

By focusing on how to respect and include people with dementia — through everyday interaction, decision-making, meaningful roles, and adult-level communication — you help uphold their dignity and self-worth. These elements matter deeply for someone living with dementia and for all of us who care about them. 

Looking for Support?

At The Forum, our memory care approach is grounded in empathy, respect, personalization and adult-centered life enrichment. Learn how our team can help your family navigate dementia care with dignity and confidence.